Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
