Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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