I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
