You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
