People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
