South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
