did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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