he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Terrible idea I love it
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
