If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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