Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
