We're facebook friends in real life
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
