is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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