okay pat passed out under dana's car
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
it's great music for shaving your balls
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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