hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
