Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
This is classic penis vs brain.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
