Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
PANTIES FOUND
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