yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
