Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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