she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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