I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
