I should be sponsored by Trojan
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Randomize
