So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
