I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
