but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
