Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
