Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
