The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
MIDGETS
????
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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