Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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