im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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