Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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