She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
