Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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