never play flip cup with pint glasses
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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