I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
