i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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