I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
