3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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