Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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