I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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