did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
