Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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