And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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