I feel like I'm in dance class right now
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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