How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You need Xanax blowdarts
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
