also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
