Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
