I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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