i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
