Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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