Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
