THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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