Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Dicks are not precious.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
