And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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